Mother’s Day, 2007

wildflowers

Another Mother’s Day passed without you.

How I wish that you were here … to share my secrets … my successes … the happiness I have finally found.

I’m at a loss when it comes to Mother’s Day.

I don’t know how I should act or feel. I don’t even know how I should spend the day, because it just doesn’t feel right without you.

I would rather have my daughter pick out flowers and cards to take to Grandma’s than celebrate the day for myself.

Lord knows I would trade in all the holidays I have left in my life to spend one more day with you.

To tell you how sorry I am for being a jerk while growing up … that you were right about so many things … and that I totally understand, now that I am a mother.

How I long to hear you say that you are proud of me … for learning from my mistakes … making my life what it now is … and for getting here in spite of some bad choices along the way.

I know how desperately you wanted for me to be happy. I would give anything to be able to share this time in my life with you.

I believe you are watching over us from Heaven, but it’s just not the same as having you here.


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